Copypasta Poker
Legend: Woman seduces her husband at Halloween party, then finds out he switched costumes with someone else.
Example:[Reader’s Digest, 1988]
On the night of the masked ball, a woman developed a migraine and told her husband to go alone. Later she felt better, so she got into her costume, which her husband had never seen. When she arrived and saw her spouse prancing around with one woman after another, she decided to get even. Seductively, she whispered sweet nothings in his ear and after a long embrace lured him to the garden. Just before midnight, when everyone was to unmask, the woman slipped away and returned home. Her husband didn’t arrive until “How was the party?” she asked. “Dull, he said.” “Did you dance much?” “To tell the truth,” her husband replied, when I got there I saw that Pete, Bill and Fred were stag, too, so we went into the den and played poker.” “You played cards all night?” she shrieked. “Yeah,” he told her. “I gave my costume to Charlie. He said he had the time of his life.” |
Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area. Two men create fantastically fake poker chips, a cheat and his cronies manipulate payouts by reprogramming slot machines and a thief on a motorcycle robs the.
Origins: No matter how many times this one is passed off as
a recent tale, nothing will change the fact that this joke-cum-legend is at least 40 years old. A 1965 joke book included a version involving a headachy wife who slips out of a costume party, switches outfits at home, then returns to the country club dance where she’d left her husband. She spots a figure wearing her husband’s costume, and a bit of dancing and wickedly persuasive moonlight leads to her romancing its wearer in the back seat of a parked car. They part, and (as in all other versions of this tale), she arrives home before her husband does. When she asks her hubby how his night was, his description of the evening has him trading places with the bartender, a dour fellow who had previously complained about never having the opportunity to get in on the usual ribald Halloween party
fun.
This legend is a neat reverse twist on the typical mistaken identity legend in which an unsuspecting
Proof that you can’t keep a good story down are recent appearances of this tale told as true, first-person accounts. The following comes from a 1998 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine:
One night, my date and I were at a costume party. He dressed up as the Phantom of the Opera, and I went as a devil. During the party, I saw him go to the bedroom with another woman. When I saw him leave the bedroom to go to the bathroom, I went to the bedroom, told the woman my situation, and took her place. Since the room was dark, my date was not aware of the change, and we ended up having sex. While we were having sex, he started screaming the other woman’s name. When I heard this, I smacked him. After he flipped on the lights, I found out that I had been with the wrong Phantom!
— Gabrielle, 24
This version, which adds a touch of incest to the mix, was published in Playboy magazine in 2004:
A married couple was invited to a masked Halloween ball. On the night of the party, the wife had a headache and told her husband to go to the event alone.
Reluctantly, he agreed. He put on a bear costume and left. The wife fell asleep and woke up an hour later feeling great. She decided to go to the party after all, and it occurred to her that, since her husband didn’t know what costume she was wearing, she’d be able to see how he behaved when she wasn’t around. As soon as she arrived, she spotted her husband in his bear costume flirting with every woman in sight. She approached him, and after a few drinks he propositioned her. They went into the bathroom and had sex. Just before unmasking at midnight, the wife slipped away and went home. She was sitting up in bed when her husband returned. She asked about his night. He said, “Oh, it was the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.”
“Really?” she said. You didn’t meet anyone interesting?”
He replied, “I didn’t talk to anyone new. When I got there, I saw the guys and we went into the spare room and played poker all night.”
She said, “You must have looked really silly wearing your bear costume playing poker.”
Her husband replied, “Actually, I gave my costume to my dad. He apparently had the night of his life.”
Last updated: 27 October 2005
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Copy Paste Pokemon Go
Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I’m str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can’t w8. We should convers8, I won’t ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don’t hesit8˙ʇı ןןɐɔ noʎ ɹǝʌǝʇɐɥʍ ɹo ,ɐʇǝq, pǝɹǝpısuoɔ buıǝq ɟo ʞɔıs ɯ,ı ˙ʇı ʇnoqɐ ʎɹɔ oʇ ǝɯ oʇ ʞןɐʇ ʎןuo puɐ ‘ʇıɥs ǝʞıן ɯǝɥʇ ʇɐǝɹʇ oɥʍ sʎnb bɐqǝɥɔnop ɹǝʇɟɐ ob sʎɐʍןɐ sןɹıb ǝsǝɥʇ puǝ ǝɥʇ uı ˙ʎpɐן,ɯ ɹoɟ buıɥʇʎuɐ op pןnoʍ puɐ ‘qoظ ǝɔıu ɐ ʞɹoʍ ‘ʎnb ǝɔıu ɐ ɯ,ı ˙ǝuoz puǝıɹɟ ǝɥʇ uı ʇnd buıǝq sʎɐʍןɐ ı ɯɐ ʎɥʍWhenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. That’s it, I’m done. Fuck this chat. It’s devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That’s it. I’m done. 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Copypasta Poker Bot
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